By Paula. But the truth of the matter is if the communication doesn't shape up--it may be time to send him packing. Very lazy. God, I did not likr video games now I so disgust them! He just doesn't want to plan that far in advance (even if that means a few hours from now). Yeah.. For almost now 3yrs he gives that stupid he is trying. Sounds like he won't amount to much. Oops! “I am always lonely, and I complain to my boyfriend because he doesn’t have time for me,” says Desiree on 5 Smart Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You.. “He says he understands and that I need to give him time and we both need to weather the storm together. I mostly just need to vent and hear some opinons that arent from my family. Just someone who doesn’t want to look at Elmo dolls and Barbie dolls in the shower with me. What can I do? Logic dictates a man should be able to provide for a woman! I’m 19, and my boyfriend is 33. I just had a few questions regarding my relationship with my boyfriend. Ask Dr. NerdLove: Is It Time To Abandon A Friendship? May 18, 2016. We just had a baby 10months ago and I was off work for a whole year. She has a boyfriend [25M] who is the exact same (right down to skipping work), and his mother doesn't like my sister, so he's practically living there, and they're both constantly leeching off my mother, who is only on a disability pension and can barely afford to provide for herself, let alone for them. It seems like he just sits around and lets me worry about everything. Ask Dr. NerdLove: What Do I Do About My Irresponsible Boyfriend? Originally Answered: My boyfriend doesn't want to work. When you're in a well-balanced relationship, your partner should be interested in what's going on in your life. He is 44 and owns nothing. He always tells me that he doesn't want to work anymore and that he's lazy .. Why should you have to do it all? They Want to Keep Their Options Open: Some people are just at a stage in their lives when they want to meet new people and casually date.Perhaps they're still getting over a breakup and are just dipping their toes into the dating pool. I love him and don't want to put another one of my kids to grow up not with their dad at home every night but I don't know what to do. Oh im nit gonna kill myself for such misery. I love my boyfriend of two years but I can't deal with the fact that he doesn't bring much to the table. Leave! I now have a live-in boyfriend who has done extensive repairs and upgrades to the home over the last 3 years — he performed all the labor himself while I purchased all materials. My boyfriend doesn't want to work...should I leave? I am a 49-year-old woman with four adult children aged 19 to 29. GIRL, I am sorry because I know love isn't about money and blah blah blah... but leave this loser. If you can fully, comftorably support (financially) yourself and someone who refuses to work, imagine what you could accomplish with a guy who is ALSO a bread winner! This is something you can totally work on with your guy if it's not already there. OK, many questions. He did all the … He’s not as affectionate, he doesn’t help me plant my flowers, & he doesn’t go to bed when I do. i don’t want to waste my time or his…if he is comfortable leaving on paycheck to paycheck, i’m not. He doesn’t do the things he used to do. All I want is to know how to help him see that it’s not the end of the world – he just has to do some work! I am 25 and my boyfriend is 26. He will switch moods very quickly (but not in a violent way) and act very strangely. He recently got a new job in retail just to make some money, but he makes me nervous because he always says things like "I'm not ready to work again" and "I don't want to work" and "I want to work six … I hope this helps sadly a lot of us are in this situation. My boyfriend & I have been together for over 10 years. My boyfriend, who’s 9 years ... My boyfriend does not want to leave this home should I pass away, ... and I hope he finds work in his chosen industry, or another. I think if you were to find someone who is worth your attention, you will think back on this loser and think, why was I with him for that long? I was taking lots of trips for work as well as taking blog/press trips for this blog. How Do You Know When It’s Time To Break Up. I bought a house as a single mother in 1998 and my children grew up here. Was thinking of taking up a collection for a friend in Austin. They are from previous relationships. The problem is that it's been months now and he has not tried to search for a job despite my urgings, he says he doesn't want to work … Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years now. I am not only doing everything, I am fighting for it too. My (34f) boyfriend (46m) doesn't have a 'real' job. My boyfriend & I have been together for over 10 years. What do you do when you're dating someone who doesn't want to be married? Me and my husband told our daughter that she needs to get out and we don't want her anymore. He is new to being in a relationship but he tries his best. UM...... Weird just got into a fight with my man (child which is more like it cause I pretty much feel like his mother and not lover) of 6 years cause he hasn't worked for a year so I came home typed some sh!t into google and this question popped up and funny enough it happened to be brand new. I am in ur shoes right now I don't know what to do. I tell people that he works on computers from home, but the truth is that he barely works at all. I now have a living boyfriend who has done extensive home repairs and upgrades over the last three years. I fell for him because he's very dedicated, supportive, loving, makes me laugh and we have a great time together. This is something you can totally work on with your guy if it's not already there. Leave! Short and sweet: your boyfriend needs to grow the fuck up. ur responsibilty is with ur two kids... they are young and u have to raise them as well as provide for ur children.. he is a grown man.. and yes i feel he is using u .. with ur permission.. meaning u are allowing him to do so.. u have to let him mature and be who he should be a provider and a father to ur kids.. i dont blame ur family for not likeing him and thinking the way they do... u can do it on ur own since ur the one who pays everything and buys food.. talk to him and give him an ultimatum.. either get a job and stand up to what he should be.. or start looking for another victim to use.. good luck. I bought my home in 1998 as a single mother and my children grew up here. These tips for coping with a physically distant or emotionally absent boyfriend were inspired by a reader. When you're in a well-balanced relationship, your partner should be interested in what's going on in your life. If he is disabled, then be supportive and help him find the right avenues to be healthy again or make income. I am not only in your shoes I think my shoes are even worse. However, even if they were your children, you still need to make him leave. Good luck! I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years and we have a son.. we don't live together yet.. And there's no child support nothing. February 18, 2021. I recently went back to work and it has caused so much friction between us. I called and even paying his due to help him out. I totally understand being tired after work and not wanting to clean but then he just never does it and it turns into weeks of me cleaning and him never lifting a finger. He never asked how anything is getting paid but I am scared to let the apartment lease break for my credit. If he's being vague about plans and your relationship in general, then you can be sure that he doesn't see you in his future anymore, because he's trying to separate himself as much as possible. Now we're facing an issue ? I now have a living boyfriend who has done extensive home repairs and upgrades over the last three years. I have been busting my butt to make sure that everything is paid and we always have what we need. As a matter of fact, I think these days, men cook more than women (unless you consider pulling something from the freezer and putting it in the oven cooking). He’s content doing his own thing because hey, why not. He just doesn't want to plan that far in advance (even if that means a few hours from now). Reply. If your boyfriend views you as just a fling or a back up option, then he will not want to put a lot of time and effort into the relationship. I bought a house as a single mother in 1998 and my children grew up here. Hey Kate I broke up with my boyfriend because he is too busy to answer my calls and he says he loves me and he can’t prove it, he can’t chat with me even I feel so sad after it I feel he doesn’t value me, he doesn’t make me feel special and we have spoken about it most time and sometimes he just shut me up, I don’t know if I am too emotional and over reacting or he’s the problem. Both of the mothers live on the West coast and we live on the East coast. Never used this before but had to sign up to let you know I feel your pain and you are not alone!!! Ask Dr. NerdLove: What Do You Do When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough? Am I wrong about different culture relationships? Should I stay with him because I love him? Throughout our relationship, there have been times that he didn't have a job for 6 or 7 months at a time. I'm 20 years old and I've been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year now. After that, my boyfriend and I exchanged a few words, and I finally told him that I didn't want to fight that night when we were both tired and emotional and I was going to stay the night at my sister's (30f). He's a Registered nurse..and he has a good job .. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. I left my job and sit my *** too. He is 44 and owns nothing. I have a lot of questions, but no answers. Still have questions? My (23F) boyfriend (25M) doesn't want to work. Inspired me to rethink my travel plans with my other half. I feel like I am the one that is driving while everyone is sleeping in the car. A boyfriend may also be avoiding you if he is thinking about breaking up. I haven’t worked since like November I think after he convinced me to quit my job (because I was being disrespected). It doesn't mean that we have to dump them ASAP, but it might not mean that we're going to get the grand love story that we've been dreaming of. Some day he would waste 3hrs on his xbox. It doesn’t make me a bad guy. I know what it sounds like but I am actually deeply invested and in love with him. How do you think about the answers? Explore What Marriage Actually Means. I love and care about him VERY much, but I don't feel I should have to live this way. All he does for them is pay child support. You can do much, much better I'm sure. I think my boyfried is bipolar sometimes. If Your Boyfriend Doesn't Do These 15 Things, It's Time To Let Him Go. He is just being lazy, no matter what his excuse. A boyfriend may not spend time with you because he doesn’t really want to be a part of the relationship. He did all the … He does flipping; buying things cheap, and reselling for a profit. We have a 12 year old daughter. If you are killing yourself to pay bills and he does little to nothing to help you... he doesn't really care about YOU or helping you. My boyfriend tried to stop him, but he left in his car (though all his stuff was still at our place). If he's being vague about plans and your relationship in general, then you can be sure that he doesn't see you in his future anymore, because he's trying to … He says the reason he doesn't want to work is because he doesn't make enough money. But he promised he would change if I gave him another chance so here I am I gave him another chance and everything is the same besides the cheating part. wish leaving wouldn't be so hard but when u love someone so much u would do anything and everything for them its sad. My BF's dog hair is starting to gross me out? And he is so vague, so .. so careless. He told me he has no motivation .. Do I have a right to be hurt that he's telling me all these? In other words, if he molds himself to meet my needs, I won’t have to be disturbed or expected to take care of my own needs. If we want to get married and our partner doesn't, then that's a really big deal and something that we definitely need to deal with and discuss.